Last Saturday,at around 12.15pm,a
fussy Diamond Platnumz,Tanzania's biggest pop act,was seated at a corner of a
popular,upscale restaurant along Kimathi Street. He was flanked by his friend
Biggy Hassan,two bodyguards and his make up artist TanashI. Diamond had been
waiting for Kenya's premier Reality Show Princess,Vera Sidika. To come along
with Vera was His Rapcellency Prezzo who will be remembered for causing a
television foofaraw a couple weeks ago.
Ensconced
at a corner of the classy restaurant,chowing away on some chicken
breasts,Diamond was talking in a hushed tone to his entourage when Vera walked
in. She was alone... And was carrying a huge purple Louis Vuitton bag,her
buoyant hair bouncing away as she shashyed her way towards the smiling Bongo
King.
Diamond
was in a hurry,it appeared as he quickly arose,gave Vera a warm hug and pulled
a chair for her. She smiled and sank into the chair,Biggy Hassan saying
something about her butt and they all laughed.
One
of Diamond's security guys was seen walking towards the counter to probably
make some payments or something. And soon after,a waitress walked over to
Diamond's table with something that looked like packed meat pies or chicken.
Diamond didn't look up. He mostly stayed on his phone,avoiding the public as
people had now started realizing who these people were. He actually pulled the
Tiffah-emblazoned hoodie he was wearing over his head,whispering something to
Vera.
Not
long after that,Prezzo walked in. He wasn't as uproarious as he always is. He
had a rather toned down countenance,politely saying hi to some chatty girls who
had noticed him and removing his earphones to hear what they were saying to
him. Quickly,he scanned across the room and saw the table where Vera and
company sat. Actually,Vera waved at him and then he walked over.
Just
then,Diamond and Vera got up,exchanged pleasantries with him and one of
Diamond's security pulled a chair for Prezzo. But he was late. There was no
time to sit. They were all enroute to a secret video shoot sponsored by one of
the leading Telecommunications companies in Kenya for a song that Prezzo and
Diamond had both secretly recorded. A waitress came over,handed the crew what
seemed to be money folded into a bill and politely walked away. Hassan took the
money and they all arose and left the restaurant.
Outside,Prezzo's
car had been clamped by the City Council. He had showed up in a shimmering blue
BMW X6 and had double packed it outside Nation Center. Vera,who drives a Range
Rover Sport,had used a Uber to get to town. And Diamond had packed two of his
ritzy cars somewhere beside Jamia Mall.
Exasperated,Prezzo
descended into a meltdown. He cursed and yanked his earphones off his
ears,removed his Gucci sunglasses and frantically tried to find the guys who
had clamped his car. He hollered at some ladies dressed in the traditional
Yellow Aprons to come over,the ladies came,gave him little audience and then
told him that he'd have to wait until the chaps who had clamped his car showed
up. At this point,Prezzo went ballistic,launching into a expletive-filled
rant,cursing and swearing,kicking the ground angrily and getting his phone out
to make an urgent call.
Vera
seemed out of place. She was at a loss over how to react and what to do. She
was to ride with Prezzo in his BMX X6 and Diamond and his crew had already left
for their cars. Vera stood by,idly,confused over who to call and clearly pissed
that she was standing in the sun on such a hot afternoon. People had started
noticing them. And this was making Vera even more uncomfortable.
Intuitively,Vera
wore her stunners,walked over to Prezzo to try and calm him down while at the
same time trying to rebuff some guys who'd started forming around her and
wanting to talk to her and take their pics.
Some
ten minutes later,some two burly chaps appeared,they talked to Prezzo pretty
fast,unbuttoned their shirts,folded their sleeves,got down to their knees and
started unclamping Prezzo's gleaming BMW.
In
less than 6 minutes,these guys,dressed in blue jeans and loose shirts,had already
cut through the City Council clamp,pulled it aside,demolished it and freed
Prezzo's car. A crowd had built up by now. Quickly,Prezzo jumped into the
car,Vera jumped into the front seat and the two guys quickly jumped in the back
seat...One of the guys then jumped out of the car,collected the yellow clamp
from the ground and threw it t the boot of Prezzo's car.
Prezzo
hooted loudly to ward off the crowd of onlookers,started the engine but before
the could drive away,City Council guys showed up on a van that was driven and
parked right behind him. Quickly,two City Council officials jumped out and ran
to Prezzo's car. Prezzo got his gun out and shot in the air,yelling 'Fuck You!
Fuck You!'. The crowd scampered for safety... Someone almost got knocked over
by a car in the ensuing melee. And as the City Council officials attempted to
reach Prezzo's car and open it, one of Prezzo's guys punched him in the face
hard,sending him staggering back as Prezzo drove away in the speed of
light,blaring Tupac's Carlifonia Love.
There
was traffic at around the Kenyatta Avenue Junction and Prezzo cut through
it,snaking his way through the red lights and driving towards Tom Mboya Street
like a maniac. He was hooting loudly and yelling at other motorists most of
whom swerved their cars and yelled back at him as he cut his way towards Thika
Road.
And
in what had started to look like a scene out of a Quentin Tarantino Hollywood
Blockbuster,the City Council guys jumped into their van,started it and decided
to give Prezzo a chase. They drove like maniacs,too... Maneuvering their way
through traffic to almost catch up with Prezzo's BMW at around the EastMatt
Supermarket along Tom Mboya Street. Driving through carelessly parked Githurai
44 mini buses,Prezzo was soon joining the Thika Superhighway.
Hooting
like psychopaths,the Kanjo guys,who now numbered around 6,drove through the Tom
Mboya gridlock too and gave a maddening chase of Prezzo. In no time,they almost
caught up to him way past Ngara. Prezzo drove on... Hooting loudly and changing
lanes with the speed of light. His guys with their heads craned out,bullying
other motorists out of the way.
It
was a like a scene straight from the second installation of the Kevin Hart Ride
Along movie.
Avoiding
Thika Road,Prezzo joined the Kiambu Road and sped his way like a deranged biker
past Muthaiga. He had now lost the guys. He drove on... The first stop was
Ridgeways Mall where,it appeared,was where the action was to be.
He
swerved fast,joined the Ridgeways Mall entrance road and drove down,quickly
parking next to a Black Subaru Outback. He jumped out the car,so did Vera and
the other two guys who banged the door and hurried along into a club around the
mall.
They
were to meet up with Diamond in the club as Vera had been on the phone with
Diamond all through. At the club's entrance,they were met by a surprised Biggy
Hassan who listened intently to their story of shocking escape,daredevilry and
sheer bravado.
Vera
then rushed back to the car to pick her handbag leaving Prezzo and his men
standing around Nakumatt supermarket with Biggy Hassan.
But
as Vera was locking the car door,she saw the same City Council van,followed by
a blue Police Landrover,drive past the mall towards Kiambu
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